A Burning Sanctuary
by Lady of the Winter
Summary: A modern day AU where there is gothic Elsa, and slightly preppy Anna. The drama between them unfolds when the real world starts to slowly drift them apart. How long until Elsa finds a better life for her and her sister? *temporary hiatus, will update soon
1. Ashes to Ashes

**Hello my friends! I got an idea to write a Frozen high school AU, and I'm going to be working on this and Elemental Gathering. Both will receive updates at my own pace. Sorry for starting another story, but I hope you enjoy!**

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><p>The reflection in the mirror was not a girl who I recognized anymore. When I looked into that mirror, I saw a blonde haired, petite body with various modifications to herself. I saw my blonde hair, dyed with black streaks and black undertones in a significantly messy braid. I saw my abundance of black eyeshadow and eyeliner, my lack of a clear complexion masked behind pale foundation, and the many metals located on my right ear. I saw the pale skin, the dark clothes, and every imperfection that forced itself to weed and overgrow into my perfections, creating a solid meadow of perishable flowers just waiting to be killed and replaced by a new imperfection.<p>

I finished preparing my makeup, and sat back down in my plain bedroom. The walls were a bland pink, and the sheets were a grid patterned mountain located on the left side of my bed. I reached underneath my bed for my journal, a beaten up purple spiral bound with over one hundred pages. I kept this journal from my family, because if they ever found it, they'd never let me hear the end of it. I picked up a pen, and began writing on the weathered page.

**_8/23/14_**

**_School starts again today. Can't write much, it's only 7:17. Have to go at 8. I'll write more during class._**

Then I shut it to get dressed. I slipped on my short dark blue fingerless gloves, a tank top with a band name written on it, and loose black Tripp pants completed with some overly used bright purple Vans. I bought these all with my own money from my rich, overly religious parents, who concidered it "immoral" to wear tight things or to show off skin of any kind. If I was lucky and earlier enough, I'd leave my good clothes at my locker and change later. Unluckily for me, I'd be walking with my sister Anna, who is just as strict with religion as my parents were. Rather she was just putting up an act or not I had yet to deicide.

My parents didn't know I smoked. When I felt like it, I'd walk a few blocks and smoke about three or five cigarettes, then walk back. The scent of smoke would be masked by the spray I wore that smelled heavily of mint. Anna was more of the perfect child, always wanting to get A's on every assignment and impress mother and father dearest. I always got C's or D's, depending on the class. I'm practically the family shame.

I head downstairs and grabbed my black backpack and slipped in my spiral notebook without anyone noticing. Anna met me downstairs a few minutes later, wearing a lacy white dress with a light green baggy cardigan and horribly ugly slip-on shoes. The outfit looked like it came from our grandma or some old vintage market, and I had to hold myself back from rolling my eyes. She walked over to me, giddy as usual.

"Hello, Elsa!" Anna chirped.

"Uh, hey..." I replied.

"Do any cool things lately?" She asked.

"Is that supposed to be a pun?" I scowled.

"No! You have such lovely gifts. They're a blessing!" She smiled.

"Anna..." I sighed, I couldn't tell her off here.

I forgot to mention, I have these "special" ice powers that were given to me by some "supreme being". Or, thats what they tell me. I'm not sure why I have them... I try to forget about them as much as I can. Apparently people with powers are more apparent then I thought, because practically every celebrity showed off their powers like no one would care.

We walked off to school from our house located in the rich section of the neighborhood, and I began walking slower than Anna. I waited until I was a good distance behind, and pulled out a cigarette and my blue lighter. I took a long breath and breathed it in the opposite direction of Anna. Luckily she was too absent minded to notice my smoking, her cross bracelet dangling when she took steps, head somewhere far in the clouds. I threw the butt on the ground and stomped on it a few good times, then slightly froze the end, just in case.

My first class was English, second Art, third Astronomy, forth Government, fifth Reading, sixth Home Economics, and seventh German. Anna got paired in only three of my classes, which were Government, Reading and English. I was thanking the "supreme being" above and counting my lucky stars, because I couldn't stand her at all. The smiling face, the happy attitude, the positive outlook, it made me absolutely angry.

"Arendelle?" The teacher calls.

"Here..." I mutter.

"Liáng?"

"Here!

"Other Liáng?"

"She's here..." The same girl answers.

They assign out books and I glance around the room, a total of nine people in my German class. The teacher did not assign homework, but she did give us a list of everything we will need. Our parents would take care of it, but I still had to pay for the things they deemed "useless", like pencils and erasers. "Arendelle's don't make mistakes." Then, I thought, how do you explain me?

I doodled until it was time to go, and the rest of my classes went the exact same way. Get a book. Get my name. Sit back down. Behave and you're fine. I laid my head down on the table, and Anna began asking me a whole bunch of useless questions that I half heartedly answered. I wasn't in the mood for anything today.

Then she asked a peculiar question.

"Elsa, are you okay?" She asked.

Taken aback, I deicided to lie. "Yeah?" I replied.

"Okay, good..." She turned away from me.

When I got home, we handed our parents the lists for school and they headed out to buy the supplies. I stood outside, taking in the fresh air and silence. The warm summer air brushed over me and washed my thoughts away. This was the only thing that kept my anxiety at bay anymore, being completely isolated from the others. As for the rest of my evening, it was uneventful and filled with promising little lies.

The next day, we had homework. I had already filled two pages of my notes in German, and three forths of a page in English. My hand was so sore from writing all that much, and my anxiety got the best of me that day. When I went home, my parents avoided me and so did Anna. I kept to myself and wrote in my journal to keep it at bay once again.

**_8/24/14_**

**_... Okay I'm back, and I didn't update yesterday. I had another attack but I got it under control. Did I ever mention I'm not sure what I'm anxious about? I keep turning possibilites over in my mind but I can't ever reach one. They all seem made up. Maybe it's because they are. Anna says she understands but I don't know how much I believe it. I don't know what to do. I'm a senior this year... Why why why why why why why..._**

**_Love,_**

**_Elsa_**

I ended the entry there. I couldn't see through all the tears. I quickly put up my journal and lay face down on my bed, crying into the pillow silently. After awhile, I felt the room grow colder and I realized I put a thin layer of ice all around me by accident, but I locked the door, so I think I may have time to unfreeze it. I stomp the ice on the carpet and turn on the heater, and crawl into some pajamas and head to work on my homework.

After about thirty minutes, I'm halfway through everything.

"Elsa?" Anna knocks on my door.

"What is it?" I spoke.

"What did you get on number thirty five of our Algebra homework?"

"X equals 3, Y is—" Anna cut me off.

"Let me come in!" She chimed. I sigh and open the door, she immediately walks over and begins copying. I continue on my German homework.

_1) Ich heiße Elsa._

_2) Ich mag zu schreiben._

_3) Ich mag Musik hören._

... Finally after finishing it, I tuck it into my new binder— already put together, thanks mom and dad— and stuff it along the rest of everything else into my black backpack.

The next day was different because we had to introduce ourselves in our German class. The twins with the last name of Liáng introduced themselves to me. One name was Xia Yan, sounding like Zi Yan. Her sister was next, she was named Qui, sounding like Cho. They were exchange students from Hong Kong, and they were just as much as social outcasts as I was. They seemed nice enough, but before I got the chance to talk to them, we had to switch partners.

At home, an argument erupted between me and my parents. They screamed at me for not trying hard enough, only making a B when I should of made an A. I screamed I wasn't perfect, and they told me that i wasn't behaving properly. I locked my door and froze it shut, and jumped into my bed.

It was only the third day of school.


	2. Dust to Dust

**Hello everyone! I'm back with a new chapter. I want to warn people ahead of time that this fanfiction does contain themes of domestic and child abuse, but I toned it down a bit for the rating. Please be careful if you are easily triggered. With that, please enjoy reading!**

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><p>My father used to tell me every night, "We don't make mistakes." He'd repeat it until those words would rearrange themselves inside of my mind. The noise would drive me crazy, and I would scream into my pillow until my head was numb. Eventually he got more harsh with his age and everytime I messed up I got a "corporal correction". One slap to the side of the head. Then it skipped to three, then four, then five. Once I happened to get knocked to the floor, only to be pick up and sent to my room for being "uncooperative", which basically means I got blamed for falling over.<p>

On the other hand, Anna never got a chastising in her life. She was the perfect little angel from heaven above, a flawless role model for me to look up to. When Anna got into trouble, she got sent to time out. When I got into trouble, it was corporal punishment. I never understood why until just recently, and the answer I received wasn't one that I expected at all...

I wasn't even part of this family.

According to the story that my mother told me (back when she was slightly nicer and not threatened to be mean by my father), When mother was pregnant with Anna, another woman was pregnant with me. It was one of dad's "vacation" relationships, even mother knew of the woman, but the "meeting friend at the bar at midnight", or "hanging out with the guys for the game", he'd be off having an affair with mothers closest friend. This would explain my blonde hair and my blue eyes. I had always been told it was from an earlier ancestor.

My parents and I frequently argue that even though I'm the illaginament daughter they still have full control over me. Turns out that my true mother either moved away or changed her identity, but either way it didn't really matter. I was never going to meet her in my life. I now have unwilling sold my life to people that don't even care about me.

"You're still expected to uphold the family honor." They tell me. I'm not going to be a mistake. This is already wrong, I'm a walking mistake. I'm an ink stain upon the letters of life. They make sure that point gets across. It's like telling someone, "You are laughing, see!" When in reality, you are crying.

I guess, "No, I don't want it," or "No, you take care of it," wasn't an option for my father. For the longest time I remember him waving a hand to chase me away while he spent time with Anna. If it got too unbareable, he'd take me to mother, and mother couldn't stress looking after me and doing her stay-at-home job at the same time.

I don't think my mother had ever preferred me that much, either.

But as of right now, I stand outside, hidden around the house, smoking my third cigarette of the day. Once I was done I sprayed myself down and sat on the vintage porch swing and let out my feelings. I scratched at my arm in anger, but not enough to damage it. Heading inside, I shut the door to my room. I collapse on my bed, kick off my shoes, and fall into a light sleep.

"Elsa!" Anna chirped. A few knocks came from the door.

"Go away..." I mumble.

"Elsa, dad wants to speak with you!"

My chest tightened up.

I quickly unlock the door and run downstairs to meet my father. When I got down to the first floor, I could tell he was angry. I kept an arms length distance away.

"Can you explain this?" His voice boomed. "Can you?" He said louder.

I cowered, I saw the "F" on the test paper I got in science.

Without saying another word, he grabs my hand and slaps my face. My mother only stood watching, her face expressionless and stern. After years of threatening from my father, my mother is practically made of stone. The murals of faces bares witness to the feat, his darken eyes watching him like the eyes of God.

I spent the rest of the night in depression, crying myself to sleep and waking up hours on end. In the morning, I had several bruises on my wrist where I had been grabbed and few smaller, lighter bruises around my face. I couldn't hardly touch them without flinching, so I used a powder foundation to cover them. I threw on a flowing black maxi skirt, a plain black sweater with lace designs, and my regular bright purple vans. I grabbed my backpack and headed off to school.

The next day at school, everything seemed calm. I went through my work and took notes like I was supposed to. Overhead, the school therapist called me to her office for a one on one meeting. Trudging down her her office, I slumped into the chair and looked around the room— everywhere except for her wrinkling face. I wasn't nervous like I was before, I've been called in her office for multiple accounts of depression.

"Hello, Elsa." She smiled. I returned a small, fake one.

"Hello, Mrs. Winters." I mumbled.

"I've called you into my office for the reason that someone pointed out the bruises on your face." She said, concerned.

"Oh, these? I tripped." I lied.

"Elsa, please don't lie. There is physical evidence that your parents abuse you. You've told me this in the past, now we can do something about it!" She exclaimed.

"I put these here myself." I blatantly spoke. "I hate myself." I couldn't tell on my parents without risk of them bribing themselves out of punishment.

She sat back in her chair, and said nothing for the next few minutes.

"Elsa, you always say that..." She says calmly.

"I do hate myself. I hate my every waking moment. I'm a walking mistake." I said this all with a straight face.

Mrs. Winters only shook her head.

**_An hour or so later..._**

On the way to the hospital, I stared out the window watching the city go by. The school therapist immediately sent me to stay in the psychiatric ward of the hospital while she calls my parents. I couldn't even begin to start containing my joy, I'd finally be out of that home and out of their hair. I wouldn't have to be the perfect child anymore. My black lips pursed to try to look upset on the way there.

They admitted me into my room, a slightly large area with a glass window for a wall with seating built in underneath, surrounded by three white ones and a tiled white ceiling. The room had a yellow door and a nice fern in the corner. The bed was rather nice and plush, and I had a full view of the city below. I had cabinets and a closet, but a lack of TV it seems. The floor was a light laminated wood.

I lay down and a nurse visits me right away. I watched as her bobbed, curly, dark, brunette hair swept around. Her tan skin was dotted with freckles. She checks around the room and fixes my blinds. I pull out my book to read.

"Hello, Elsa. I'm Elisa and I'll be taking care of you while you're here. You can call me Mrs. Amble if you'd like." She spoke as she wrote things down on a clipboard. "We'll be dropping off your things soon, your parents aren't aloud to visit because of what the councilor told me." She added.

"Really? Thats great!" I paused. "What about my sister?" I asked.

"Your sister cannot visit, either." She replied sullenly, then said her goodbyes and left.

With a joyful feeling, I return back to my book.

The ward was awful about their schedules. I had to wake up early, make my bed, get dressed, eat breakfast and now I'm getting ready to do an activity. Since Elisa was my assigned nurse, she would be helping me today. We were going to be painting with oil paints.

"Try not to dip too much onto the brush, and don't get it everywhere." She told me nicely.

After painting was lunch, then I had my homework dropped off and Elisa helped me with that. Instead of having a giant pile of notes, they were nice enough to give me a paper print out to stick in my binder instead. The homework was a breeze.

The following weeks went by without a care. However, my depression still did not heal. I still cried and if I was feeling extra awful I'd get up at three a.m. to start doing jumping jacks to burn off all that food they gave me. It wasn't going to help much, but no one really stopped me from doing it. My weight was apparently also an issue, but I can't remember how much I weighed last time.

Taking my pills, I stared out at the city below.

"I guess this is my life now..." I murmured. I took out my notebook and began another entry.

**_9/4/14_**

**_Currently listening to: People Help the People - Birdy_**

**_Sorry for not updating in so long my dear diary. A lot has happened since I wrote in you last. Guess who is finally at the psychiatric ward? I am! I couldn't be happier to be away from that home. I was tired of seeing the countless crosses and being watched by unsettling paintings. I've gotten all settled in and they occasionally let me listen to my music. My school still piles in my homework though... Also, they won't let me smoke._**

**_That's not important, though. I wonder how Anna is taking this? I hope she's okay..._**

**_P.S. My depression is apparently getting bad._**

**_love,_**

**_Elsa._**

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><p><strong>Okay, even though I said this was a highschool AU, Elsa ending up in the psychiatric ward will only last until maybe next chapter. Here she will be in and out of the ward. This chapter just features her getting into a new home. So, I hope you enjoyed! Next chapter will be out soon!<strong>


	3. Hopeful Daydreams

**Hi everyone! I'm back with chapter three. I'm sorry if this one isn't as good as the other chapters, but I'm trying. I ran into some serious writer's block even while writing the author's note, so I'm really sorry if this chapter is horrible. I had the chance to go over and edit it to the best of my ability, so at least it's good enough to be published. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!  
><strong>

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><p>Hidden away in the back of a drawer was my pack of cigarettes. They said I behaved well enough to back to school, and to celebrate I was going to go smoking outside. Elisa was kind enough to let me "accidentally" out of her sight to smoke outside quickly and return back to my room. I promised her that I would try to quit, and as a result, I'm down to smoking one a day. It drove me crazy when I wanted another... but hey, it's an improvement.<p>

"Elsa?" I hear Elisa call.

"Hmm?" I sound.

"You ready for school?" Elisa would serve as my caretaker in and out of school. I guess you could say I've kind of warmed up to her. She was almost like my own mom... my better, nicer, compassionate mom.

Could I even change my last name to Amble?

At school, I got a sudden wave of anxiety. I haven't seen Anna in so long, and I'm pretty sure she's never missed a day of school in her life. I wave goodbye to my mother— my new mother— and I step towards the building. The doors swing open and I am practically speed walking over to my locker in order to avoid everyone. No one really noticed I was back, and it almost kind of hurt.

Putting up my things and grabbing my journal and book, I rush to my first hour. I sit down in the back of the room and I wait patiently for Anna to arrive in the room. I bury my nose in the book, hoping to not draw any unwanted attention to myself. Out of the corner of my eye I notice her entering, and she practically stops mid-step.

"Elsa?" Anna calls.

I slowly look over.

"Hi, Anna..." I trembled.

Slowly her surprised expression turned to joy, and she ran over to hug me even though I was sitting down.

"I've missed you! The teachers also told me that your grades have been improving since you were gone! I'm so excited to see you back!" She rejoiced.

She was holding my arms, and I couldn't help but notice she had slightly changed her appearence. Instead of her modest grandmother clothes, she changed into a lovely pastel pink tank top with a black Peter Pan collar, a rather flowy black skirt, and her ugly slip-ons changed to lovely open toe hippie sandals. While the getup was not my style, she had improved a lot from the past few weeks. I was admiring it all until I saw the bruises on her arms.

"You have a few bruises, there..." I pointed out.

"I fell last weekend..." She explained. "I wasn't watching my steps and I tumbled down the stairs." She added.

The teacher had entered the room, and the entire class grew quite again.

I couldn't stop thinking about Anna's bruises. I knew very well that she didn't fall, as clumsy as she was, because the bruises looked like she had been grabbed by the arm. I feel a burst of anger surge through me because I know just well who did it to her. I form my hand into a fist around my pencil and scribble silently, attempting to vent out my feelings so the teacher wouldn't notice. How could he hurt his own daughter? He can hurt me all he wants, but Anna at least deserves a better life than I've had.

When class ended, I had to wait until fourth hour to meet up with Anna again. Nothing really productive had happened all day, and I forgot how boring school could really be. The most interesting highlight is apparently some celeb accidentally froze her door shut to her car and couldn't get it melted in time for her concert. I sighed and froze the tip of the marker the teacher was using to write, and the moment he put the end on the board it shattered into pieces. The class laughed for a good five minutes.

"Elsa did it!" Anna yelled.

I shot her a playful glance.

"Elsa, markers are expensive..." The teacher said nonchalantly.

I shrugged jokingly and he returned to the board. Another kid from the back row, noticing it was Xia Yan, playfully caught the homework on fire and I put it out when the teacher had noticed. The class was practically grinning and laughing by the time the bell rang.

So far so good.

At the end of school, I met Anna in front of the school near a fairly new fountain they placed for students to sit near. She anxiously fiddled with her braid, and she gripped her skirt. I could tell she was waiting all day for this...

"Elsa, I was lieing to you earlier..." She admitted.

"I know you were. Now tell me, who is it, really?" I asked.

"Okay, you can't tell..." Anna looked at me. I only nodded. Her story continued...

"Before you ask, no it wasn't dad. In fact, dad hasn't been angry at all since you were admitted into the hospital. The reason I have these..." She touched the bruises on her arm, "is because of this guy I met. I kind of like him. They keep telling me he likes me—"

"Wait, who told you he likes you?" I asked.

"His friends, I'm not sure who they are... But he grabbed me after school, and said he liked me a lot and he wanted to see me sometime for a date... It sounds so bizarre and cliché it's pathetic, isn't it?" She rushed in saying the entire story.

"Well, when did this happen?" I was becoming more and more concerned.

"It happened a few days after you left for the hospital. I went clothes shopping and I guess he likes my new clothes?" She guessed.

"Yeah, a little too much... Stay away from him, okay?" I demanded.

Anna nodded and sighed.

I noticed my new mother in the parking lot.

"Elisa is here. Shes my nurse. Do you want to meet her?" I say.

"Yeah!" Anna chimed.

After a quick introduction, I climbed inside and waved as Anna disappeared over the horizon. I immediately turned in my seat and my emotions were pressing against my chest and about to force themselves out. "_No, I can't cry here..._" I told myself. I gripped at my seatbelt and put on my best fake smile. I could win an award with this type of talent.

"How was your day?" My new mother asked me.

"It was okay..." I replied.

"For your first day back? Did anyone say hi?" She prodded.

"No, no one really cares about me..." I reasoned. "But I had some fun in class." I added.

"Sounds great." She said.

There was a pause. I could tell she was trying to focus, either on the road or on her thoughts or feelings. Perhaps some sort of mixture of the three.

"... Elsa?" She finally spoke.

"Yes?" I questioned.

"How would you like a new home? You could stay at a nicer wing in the hospital. All the rooms look the same, really. There'd just be a lot less noise." She informed.

"Anywhere but home." I stated.

I felt my dread within intermingle with a feeling of happiness. I could hardly contain myself from laughing from the amount of coincidence that took place. I had to ponder for a minute if she was capable of reading my mind, because I have been wanting to move out more than anything. Without a word, I turn to look at the passing scenery. I saw myself smiling in the mirror of the car as we drove towards home.

I say home lightly, because a hospital can't really be concidered a home. It was, however, a great step forward from where I was at. Eventually I knew I'd have to go back unless I got my new mom to adopt me, which I was going to aim for in the future. I promised her I'd give up smoking, so I thouget if I quit I could convince her to take me in. When I got to my new room, my things had already been put away but my cigarettes were thrown out. That was a good start. I couldn't wait for her to notice my improvements.

That night I had gotten the worst case of staying awake. But, I deicided if I was going to suffer with this insomnia, I would preoccupy my thoughts of envisioning my new home. I thought about having dinner at a table instead of my room, I imagined awaking to the sound of a light voice and hand on the shoulder, I thought about going shopping and celebrating and going places together. For once in my life I was optimistic about my future.


	4. Shangri La

**Hello everyone! I wrote this story after being inspired by ****Ellen Hopkins and various teenage stories of overcoming addictions. I thought it would make for an interesting situation. And just so no one worries, I don't do drugs and I don't condone for their usage. I tried to tone it down as much as I could to still have it T rated. Sorry if I'm being cheesy. Anyway, enjoy reading!**

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><p>Of course it was illegal to smoke at eighteen, but it's not like I could do much about it. Sliding the almost empty cigarette box into my new desk compartment, I stared at the open spiral notebook I laid over the homework I was supposedly doing. I clicked my pen and chose my words very carefully.<p>

**_Dear journal, forgot what day it was..._**

**_Listening to Missing by Evanescence._**

**_It's probably been a few weeks. I can't remember. I've given up cigarettes (mostly) and I've abandoned everyone which is good. I think. I don't know..._**

**_Love,_**

**_Elsa_**

It was a short entry that I absolutely hated looking at. I despised myself for writing so little. I used to write pages and pages and pages just ranting about my family. Without them, my journal was empty. When my journal was empty, part of me was empty, too.

Pushing my journal under the compartment with my cigarettes, I check my phone for the time: 4:17 pm. I just got out of school and gave Anna my new phone I recieved as a gift for moving in. Not much to call home like I thought there would be, but I guess I can't complain. Nothing beats being away from people who couldn't care less about me, and made my life up until now a living hell. After pulling my thoughts from that awful home, I noticed I got a text from Anna.

Anna:

_Meet u by the park? U kno the one_

Elsa:

_The park? We haven't gone since we were kids..._

Anna:

_Yeah! Got a suprise for u! Gonna luv it!_

Elsa:

_Anna, are you sure?_

_... Anna?_

_... Hello?_

Three seperate texts and she still didn't answer. I knew the park she was talking about, but I didn't like the sound of this surprise that much. Knowing Anna, she was easily influenced by the people she was hanging out with. The park had been deemed unsafe for children, the reason being the drug addicts and various gangs generally did their rounds there. Of course, it's patrolled, but the police hardly care and if you're really lucky you can catch them sleeping in the patrol car and being bribed—probably offered even more than their salary— not to tell.

Talk about good law enforcement.

I had to go to Anna, I had to go before it was too late. Who knew what kind of things she could get herself into. I'm not going to let her fall into that life, even if I'm not even apart of her life anymore. Still, I wanted nothing more than to leave and start a new life... but somehow I was so fixed on helping Anna now.

I quickly pulled on a black, simple, short dress and a pair of high black lace-up leather boots with high heels. I've been dressing more freely since I've been away. No longer did I have to wear baggy clothes, I could proudly show off my figure when I wanted. However, since it was getting colder, I pulled on a black leather jacket and headed towards my car. My car was also a welcome "home" gift, a used dark blue Mini Cooper. Talk about style, I know, but I have to go save Anna from her mess.

Elsa:

_Sorry mom, gotta go out and get Anna out of some trouble._

New Mom:

_Don't you dare get involved if it gets dangerous._

Elsa:

_Don't worry I'm going to be okay._

When I got there, I shoved my phone in my pocket and started my way down the walking path. Behind the large rec center located within the too-large-for-it's-own-good park, I saw a boy and my little sister together. I stopped mid track and took a few deep breaths... and then I noticed something. I noticed packets being dealt around, but I couldn't see what was in them... Stepping closer, I wish I would of turn around again. My mouth dropped and I practically staggered forward. My little sister was...

My sister was an addict.

"Anna!" I yelled.

She noticed me and gestured me over.

I ran as fast as I could without tripping in my boots, and I caught my breath. I gave her the most condescending, angry look I could muster but all she did was laugh. My little sister was slipping away from me, and I don't think I could get her back.

She was wearing something I wasn't hardly used to. Anna wore a very, very, very baggy hoodie and unbelievably short shorts for the weather we were having. Her hair was an absolute mess and she looked like she hadn't slept in months. I couldn't believe I didn't see this before...

She was so good at hiding this life.

"Who gave this to you?" I demanded.

"Hans! You know, the foreign kid from Norway that moved here like— a week ago?" Anna slurred.

I knocked the pipe out of her hand, and the powder spilt onto the ground.

"Anna, stop it, we're going home." I grabbed her by the wrist and jerked her arm upwards. I was immediately stopped by a tall boy, dressed in rather sloppy clothes. "Move!" I demanded.

"Let her go, she obviously wants to be here anyway." The boy spoke with a slight accent.

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" I yelled.

He swung at me, but I barely dodged it and I kicked him in the shin. Before I knew what he would do, he swung once more and knocked me in the face. I grabbed ahold of my nose and he shoved me to the ground, and onto the fine powder that spilled from the pipe. Anna was screaming for him to stop.

"Get out of here!" He exclaimed, then kicked me in the gut.

"Stop!" Anna cried, and rushed to my side.

"Anna..." I coughed roughly, "Anna don't get ahold of that... It's not okay, I promise. It took years to stop..." I've said to much.

"Elsa, you smoked?" Anna gasped.

"When I was sixteen, but never again— I swear I only smoke cigarettes now." I stuttered from coughing.

Helping me up, she sat me down on the bench and put her arm around me. I noticed the goosebumps on her legs. I wanted to take off my jacket, but the soreness wouldn't let me.

"This was my first time..." Anna admitted.

"Anna, this is dangerous. You'll get into debts from bad people. You'll get addicted to it. Soon you'll be wanting it all the time... Then you won't be satisfied. What if you move to something worse, Anna? What then?" I stammered.

"I'd never do that!" Anna reassured.

"I paid nine thousand for this, thank you!" The boy interrupted.

"Hans, please leave her alone!" Anna begged.

"Your friend ruined a perfectly good pipe!" He argued.

"I don't care, I don't want anymore!" Anna retaliated.

"Why not? You were enjoying yourself earlier!"

"That was the past!" Anna said.

"Let's just go..." I sighed, and began leading my sister to her car.

"Actually, Hans is my ride." Anna whines.

"Oh no... I brought my car, let's go." I demanded again.

"Hold on, just because I'm doing it doesn't mean she's got to have it. I thought we were going to my place afterwards... Anna, do you really wanna go?" Hans insisted.

"Elsa, I promise I won't do anything stupid." Anna promised.

And I'm not sure what I was thinking, but I let her go. I let her go because I trusted her, and she never let me down. But knowing what she was doing now, I shouldn't of let her go. And what did I do? I let her go with that awful boy. I knew if I didn't, he'd probably punch me again. Or punch Anna, even. I stood there shaking, thinking of what could happen. My little sister doing all sorts of things she's not supposed to... Then I had an idea. I ran to my car and followed Hans to his house. Well, not so much a house but a rather nice looking neighborhood apartment. This wasn't too smart on my part, but for my sister I'd do anything.

Anything but leave her behind.

Which then I realized, that is what I've been doing all along. All along she was trying to fit in as well, trying to be cool and with the in crowd. But she wanted to be smart, too, and she was so confused in the decision she made a bad choice. This choice may cost her big time. I never even bothered to notice.

I check my phone before going in, it was currently getting around five. I watched the window that I saw shadows in. I couldn't even be sure those were their shadows, but I was desperately looking for a way in I couldn't care less. I got out of my car and tugged at the front door as quietly as possible. Unfortunately, it was locked.

"Of course their gonna lock the front door!" I thought.

I tried the back door.

"Oh my god Anna just let me in!" I whispered.

I glanced up at the window light. I stood back in disbelief. What were they going to do? Why would Anna even concider this? What am _I_ even going to do?

Nothing.

I couldn't do a thing.

I couldn't bang on the door.

He would get mad, no telling what he would do in this state.

I couldn't call the cops.

I would be caught stalking.

I couldn't call daddy dearest and have him aim a rifle at the boy, like they did in movies.

I didn't even have daddy dearest's number (and I didn't want it, either).

I was powerless.

I just drove home.

I didn't really realize how angry I was.

Because,

Before I knew it...

I slammed head first into a four by four truck going sixty on a forty lane. I was lucky enough that the car took most of the damage. I was told it was a miraculous survival, but I've heard them say it before. No new news here.

In my bed at the hospital, I had nothing but a sprain. Doctors said it was a miracle, but I think what physical pain didn't happen made its way into my emotions. I felt hurt and betrayed by Anna for getting with that boy. He was nothing but trouble, and I wasn't going to lay here and do nothing about it. So I slept. Three days later, I got a text from Anna.

Anna:

_Elsa im sorry_

Elsa:

_It's okay._

Anna:

_No its not and im sorry because Hans isnt like that usually_

Elsa:

_Stay away from him._

Anna:

_Can I visit you?_

Elsa:

_I'll talk to them._

Anna:

_Good._

After a few minutes of talking to a very furious new mother, she allowed Anna to stay only if Hans did not go with her. I agreed right away, and Anna was sent up to my room.

"So, how long have you been at the hospital?" I asked.

"Since noon. It's about three right now." Anna replied.

"Who told you about all this?" I continued asking.

"Elisa." Anna told me.

Anna sat down on my bed and fiddled with her braid, just like old times. She finally lays down next to me and I move over to make some room. She looks at the ceiling in order to not make eye contact.

"I know you followed us." Anna said.

"I'm sorry, Anna." I reply.

"You could of stopped him. I didn't want to smoke anymore. Now I have an addiction I can't stop. He's my supplier. He buys it, I pay him back—"

"Please don't tell me that." I cut her off.

"I landed in that powder. Currently, Elisa is washing my jacket because of it. She says I won't get in trouble— but I can't say the same for you." I added.

"Oh no... Elsa, I'm in such a huge mess I can't handle this..." Anna began crying.

"Anna. Let me tell you something. I did the same mistakes. I got led down the wrong path. But I straightened myself out. It took awhile, but it happened. That's how I got my cigarette addiction. I wear makeup to conceal all the things that happened to my face..." I said.

"Nothing's wrong with your face..." Anna reassured.

"Thank you, but I don't know who I am anymore." I added.

"What does that have to do with your face?" Anna wondered.

"I don't recognize myself in that mirror anymore. Or any mirror." I stated.

We went silent for awhile. The sun was high in the sky and it peaked in through the blinds of the wall window. The seats underneath lay untouched. The TV was running softly. The silence was too loud to bear.

"Can you make snowflakes like you used to?" Anna asked.

I said nothing, instead, I held up my hand and created small snowflakes and flipped and twirled every which way. They flew all over the room and Anna laughed when they landed on her. It was just like old times.

"We will get through this, okay?" I said.

"I know we will..." Anna said, but something in her voice convinced me otherwise.

I could only ask for miracles at this point.


	5. Wanderlust

**Hello everyone! I was writing this chapter for awhile and I'm surprised it didn't really have as much action as the other chapters. I'm sorry if this chapter is boring at all. I tried my best. Anyway, enjoy reading~**

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><p>Where I'd go to hide out from everyone was my own room. I couldn't exactly go outside without supervision after the incident with Anna, but I'll take what I can get to escape at this point. Whenever I wanted to be left alone, I left my shoes on the other side of the door to let them know I was currently 'away', and by that I mean just shifting around useless information in my mind. Everyone obeyed the rule, and I started putting out my shoes longer and longer until I'd go hours without contact. It gave me time to think, and it gave me time to write in my journal that I've been neglecting. I wrote a lot of freeverse that put tremendous effort into. Perhaps I'll be a poet when I grow up. Or maybe I'll be stuck here forever, bailing Anna out of jail.<p>

That's right, Anna's in jail. Anna's side of the story isn't completely without fault. She claimed to have never been at the scene, but fingerprint dusting concluded otherwise. Hans also got into some serious trouble, but not as much as Anna. She got six months in jail, Hans got five months. I could say that it was some form of oppression, a misogynistic unfairness that was to be beared by Anna's ever-so-slightly-growing weight of the world. But it isn't. Hans left some in the car, slipped some into her hoodie when it was off, and made sure she took the fall when they got caught. He even admitted it when they were interrogating them. I could hear Anna's sobs from the other side of the phone.

"Men aren't fair!" She wept.

"The world isn't fair, Anna." I sighed.

In the meantime, three weeks had passed since her conviction. I was allowed to call her every so often, but as far as that went, it wasn't very much. Every week or so she'd keep me on the phone for thirty minutes just talking about old times. She even admitted she doesn't hate Hans for making her take the blame, she still loves him more than ever. Though they haven't seen each other in some time, I'm sure the feeling isn't exactly mutual with Hans.

So that was just a peek into my week. I haven't been doing so well myself, and the doctors say that my depression is indeed worsening at a quick rate because of the stress I'm dealing with. They upped my pill dosage and scheduled therapy three times a week in hopes to keep a good emotion somewhere inside myself. All I felt was the feelings within wishing to be free. I even ran out of cigarettes to smoke it out with, so now I only have my thoughts and my journal.

I wanted to cry.

I laid down on my bed and the tears fell unwillingly, and I grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. The room was filling with a saddening aura. I wanted to leave, I wanted to run away, because I was no longer at home in this place. But how could I ever leave my new mother... I could write a note, or just vanish without a trace, or I could get her to help me. But how could I ever manage that? I was just an eighteen year old with a serious problem.

I gathered my things anyway. I slid multiple outfits inside my backpack, along with my journal and my twenty bucks that I earned by helping new mother with laundry at her home. Her extremely small, run down, and broken home. It wasn't heaven at all when I was there. Her boyfriend was an abusive drunkard and her seven year old daughter was a bystander. I couldn't see why she didn't just kick him out, but she couldn't, he had blackmail. Apparently it was fake, because even I didn't believe her when she told me.

"If I kick him out, he'll claim child abuse." Elisa whimpered.

"How?" I asked.

"She already has his bruises... All he has to do is tell law enforcement and blame me..." She began crying.

I sighed and brought myself back to reality. What else would I need if I was going to run away? Snacks. I rushed to the vending machine down the hall and bought a few bags of chips. It's not much, but it helps me cope when I'm starving, so I might as well. I bought a few flavored waters as well, and I rushed back to my room before anyone saw me. I stuffed them into the bag and put the water into the side pockets knowing they'll be warm later, but better than nothing. Now the only thing left to do was to say goodbye. That would be the hardest thing I've done in awhile. I've grown so attached to new mother...

But if I was going to go through with this, I'd have to let go of those feelings. I'd have to let go of everyone's feelings... Mine, Anna's, my new "home"... I'll be traveling on my own. That is, if I actually get the courage to go. I'd have to talk it over and see what would happen.

Just on queue, I stepped outside and new mother was on her way to visit me. I kicked my shoes back inside and welcomed her in. When she saw I was packing, I got slightly worried on how she would take the idea... But what if I offered to take her with me? And her daughter? And Anna?

"Why are you packing?" Elisa asked.

"Well," I started, "there's no better way to say this. Do you want to run away with me?" I asked.

"Run away?" Elisa laughed, "you've got to be kidding. You're only eighteen." She added.

"Yes, but we could take your daughter and we can take Anna—" I was silenced when she flipped my backpack and emptied it out.

"Elsa, you can't run away from your problems. It's impossible for you to even _run away, _no one has custody to check you out of the hospital." She sighed.

"Why won't you check me out?" I questioned.

"Because it's too difficult for you to stay at my home. Now, let's go see your sister." She gestured for me to follow her.

At the jail, we sat seperated by a wall of glass. We could talk through it, but I couldn't reach and give her a hug as much as I wanted. A part of me felt sad for seeing her in jumpsuit orange, it didn't fit her much at all. She still had that trademark smile on her face.

"Hi, Elsa..." Anna said meekly.

"Hello. I've missed you..." I replied.

"Me too! I was thinking about you a lot. I've gotten to know some people in here. They're nice as long as you stay away from them." She laughed slightly.

"Anna, when you get out, Would you like to run away and start a new life?" I asked.

"Well that was sudden... I don't know Elsa, I mean I have Hans and all." She mumbled.

"Anna, no!" I snapped, "he's nothing but bad news! All you ever do is get attached to the wrong people! Why do you hate yourself so much to do this to yourself?" My voice raised.

"I'm sorry..." Anna whispered.

"No, stop saying that. We will run away together and we can start new lives. No stupid Hans. No pointless addictions. You can finally start new," I chimed.

"It's just not that simple Elsa, and you know very well that—" she stopped, "you know very well we can't just leave." She started crying.

"I'll pay your bail." I stated.

"You really will?" She sniffled.

"I promise, then I'll show you we can run away." I remarked.

Back in the car, I started revising and reviewing plans. How was I going to come up with that money? I can't just get a job, at least, I didn't think I could. I had five thousand to pay off and not a lot of time to waste. I got Elisa to drive me to the nearby dollar store so I could pick up an application. I filled it out inside after glancing it over, and turned it in.

"Hopefully that will get me some money, if I get hired," I said while getting into the car.

"I'm sure it's not impossible," Elisa sighed.

After a couple of days they called me back and said I was hired. I started work in the morning, and I couldn't wait to get my first paycheck. The only stressful thing was I'd be working five days, Tuesday through Saturday, and work started at five p.m. and ended at eleven p.m. While I could work those hours, I could work for overtime on Saturday and get more onto my paycheck. Elisa said she was proud of me for getting a job, so she'll be chipping in as well.

On top of balancing homework and working an eight hour work shift, I was glad to say I proudly quit smoking. This isn't to say I'd never get a craving, but I could manage. The doctors said I quit early enough that nothing horrible was done to me but I might have some problems later in life, they said it had nothing to worry about. My physical health skyrocketed, but my mental health took an all time low. I was practically running off of steam, and my depression kept shifting as if it couldn't make up its mind. They assigned me to therapy on the days I had off, and I had to admit, they helped me quite a bit.

After five work filled weeks, we had the bail money. Anna could be free and we could start a new life together. I kept turning it over in my mind that night, the thought of me, Elisa, and Anna all going to live somewhere new. Or maybe even travel the world. Or we could just drive and drive and drive and drive... The possibilites were endless.

**The Next Day**

Apparently Hans' rich parents had already bailed him out. Anna was finally reunited with him, and it wasn't all that heartwarming. Anna treated him like it was their first date, and she couldn't keep her hands off of him. Their physical affection was beginning to worry me. Long story short, Anna went home to our parents house and I went back home to the hospital. Tomorrow, if things went as planned, we could finally get out of here.

But that's not what happened at all apparently. Anna returned to his house the same night and did things she said she'd stop doing— namely, the drugs. I was beginning to think that Hans' was taking advantage of her beyond the drugs, and that, I would not have.

Anna:

_Elsa i swear we r not doing what ur thinking_

Elsa:

_Then what are you doing?_

Anna:

_He wont let me leave, right now hes with sum friends_

Elsa:

_Who? What do they look like?_

Anna:

_I dont kno they just left, couldnt see them from upstairs_

Elsa:

_Where are his parents?_

Anna:

_Allowing him to do this_

Elsa:

_Should I come pick you up?_

Anna:

_Yes please im scared_

I clicked off my phone and I dressed in a tight-but-comfortable medium length sleeve black shirt, and a medium length layered ombré black and gray skirt, and my lace up black boots. I threw on my gray scarf and freshly washed leather coat, and grabbed my keys. I was going to save my little sister this time.

Pulling up to the apartment, I knocked on the door and composed myself. Hans' mother answered the door, a rather middle aged woman with brunette hair and green eyes. She welcomed me in and I made my way up stairs. Hans' was obviously bothering my sister because when I entered the door, he exhaled smoke into her face. When she noticed me, she got up and stepped behind me. I noticed how little she was wearing for a cold day... High-waisted pastel pink shorts, and a small-striped blue and white shirt.

"I don't want you bothering my sister anymore." I stated firmly.

"Oh yeah, what are you going to do about it?" He remarked.

"Nothing, because she's never coming back here." I raised my voice, and while he was laughing and being full of himself, Anna and I made our way outside and hurried into the car.

"I think he let me leave..." Anna stated.

"Probably, but knowing him, he probably didn't notice. He was out of his mind, right?" I asked.

"Yes." Anna replied.

A moment of silence passed as I started up the car and began driving.

"Our parents kicked me out and disowned me. They also said the same for you, since you left. They took down all the pictures of you." Anna sighed and stared out the window.

"So they did. What now? Do you have a place to go? What about money?" I asked.

"Guess I'll rent a hotel. Do you mind lending me money to pay off rent?" Anna stared at me.

"Yes. Though you're going to have to get a job of your own. You can work at the dollar store like I do, they pay well and you shouId be able to afford rent if you work full time. After that, we can save up with the money Elisa earns, which is about $300 left after everything is paid. I earn around $80 since I work part time. We can save up and that's $160. All together it would be $460 we'd be saving up at a time. That's enough to were we can go and start a new life." I explained.

"Why do you want to start a new life so much Elsa? We can still live here. It's not a bad place." Anna said.

"Because I hate this place." That was the end of the conversation.

I checked Anna into a hotel, and gave her some money for food and it should last her until she get's a job. I told her that the dollar store was always hiring. With that, I went home and got some sleep. I just couldn't wait for the work I had tomorrow.

"Elsa, wake up!" Elisa was freaking out.

"Wha- whasss the matterrr..." I mumbled.

"Anna is gone! They said she left yesterday and they found a note in her apartment!" She yelled.

"What did it say?" I said, still not registering the situation.

She tossed a folded piece of paper on to my bed. I opened it and read it, vision still hazy.

_Dear Elsa,_

_I thought about what you said about hating this place. Turns out, I do as well. I'm leaving in the morning and I'm going absolutely no where. I'll hitchhike, get some money and travel until I find a place to call home. I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll keep in touch._

_Love,_

_Anna._

"She wouldn't just up and leave like this..." I said, finally getting concerned.

"We need to go look for her!" Elisa said frantically.

"Yeah, but let's at least get dressed first..." I suggested.

I pulled on a black embroidered blouse, a long white lacey skirt, and my gray scarf and boots. Elisa changed from her teal scrubs to a medium length purple dress and black flats. We got into her Nissan Leaf and drove around in search of Anna, and I made phone calls until she finally picked up.

"Where are you?" I yelled.

"Hans found out where I was staying. I can't stay there. Can you pick me up? I didn't think I you'd actually find the note..." She whimpered.

"Yes, where are you?" I asked.

We arrived in front of the dollar store, and she told me she had applied for a job there. She also said she wrote the note to vent— none of it was true. I was just glad she was safe...

"Well? Where are we going to go now?" I asked.

"Only one place to go." Elisa stated.

"Where?" I asked.

"Away from here." She said.

**_Dear journal, I think it's December something._**

**_Listening to Such Great Heights - The Postal Service._**

**_Elisa said we were leaving. I don't know where to, but I hope it will be better than here. I'm not even sure if I want to leave here anymore. I thought I got my life in check finally, but I guess not. Maybe I'm just selfish. That's okay, everyone is a little selfish, right? I hope so._**

**_love,_**

**_Elsa_**


	6. Kiss With a Fist

**Hello my fine people, I'm sorry the update took so long. I used lyrics in this chapter, and as much as I don't really prefer using them, I thought it would be neat to add them here. I don't own them and they belong to Florence + the Machine, obviously. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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><p>What I've always wanted was a house to call my own. What I did not want was to live in a run down, shady, one story motel in the most active part of town. We only drove a few ways until we reached the nearest city, and we were given a room per person. They said they didn't mind us living here as long as we didn't make too much of a ruckus— in their words. We paid $30 a month, which was a total bargain. Of course, the cons outweighed the pros at this point, but I could complain much anymore. I've been granted the miracle of leaving, so I'll hold my peace. Besides, at least we had a place to stay and food (albeit, terrible food) to eat, and that's all you could ask for. I'm just hoping my little sister doesn't get mixed in with the rumored drug dealers around here...<p>

Unpacking my things, I hang them up with the plastic hangers and put away my neccessary things— soap, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, etc. into the cabinet of the rather distressed bathroom. I cleaned up the room the best I could, leaving rather noticeable water stains on the ceiling and harmless mold on the sink. It wasn't perfect, but it would have to do.

The overall room was a pale blue which was noticeably chipped, and the surprisingly clean duvet covers a royal purple. I had a personal glossy wooden desk which was nice, and three total plug ins that I could charge my phone in. Nothing seemed all that horrible at first glance, but I'd learn to hate this place in enough time. I always hated staying in one place for too long. This time though, I didn't have time to argue with myself.

We were safe.

We were away from the drugs.

We were away from Hans.

That's all that really matters.

The night time was already upon us, and I could see groups of young adults flocking towards the clubs in much too short dress wear and flashy accessories. I overheard Anna exclaiming she wanted to go to the clubs as well, but she knew better. Speaking of Anna, I haven't even checked up on here since we got here... I wonder how she is taking all this. I couldn't help but think we aren't able to go back to school, and we'd have to get GED's, and I'd been transfered to a dollar store located near here... Elisa is fired, however. Something about behavior and the way she allowed her patients to break the rules.

Knocking on Anna's door, I wait for her to answer. She mumbled a quick 'hold on', and opened the door for me. Her room looked no different from mine. She allowed me in and we sat together in overwhelming silence. Anna was not wearing her trademark smile, she was not projecting a joyful aura like she always did, and she didn't even make eye contact with me. Something about this told me that she'd probably never be able to look at me again in the same way.

"I am so sorry." I stated.

"About what?" She questioned.

"About letting you fall into the deception of Hans..." I stared at the palms of my hands.

"I was doing that long before you knew. I started off on the easy stuff— dope, mostly. That was my first time off of dope." Anna moved closer to me.

"Anna, why did you never tell me about this life? I wouldn't of minded at all—" I stopped my sentence and she glanced up at me.

"When I figured out that dad hurt you the way he did, I needed an escape. I thought he was going to hurt me next. I don't know why he hit you so much..." Anna held my hand.

"Anna, when did you find out?" Tears rolled down and ruined my mascara.

"When I was ten." She spoke.

"You smoked at ten?" I asked, and she nodded her head.

She pulled me close and comforted me. I continued crying my eyes out, not even aware of the kind of life she led. Why didn't she bother to tell me? Maybe it was because she was worried or she never really was thinking straight at the time. I couldn't really find an answer to that. Though something after today drew us closer, and I figured I might as well show my side of the story.

"I used to smoke, too. Not just cigarettes. I smoked crack— and I really wish that I never had. My life got so much harder after trying it. At first, it gives you the rush and high of a life time. Then you crash and burn like never before. It was an endless roller coaster ride and I never wanted to get off. I developed a horrible addiction. It took months to stop it..." I explained.

"So, when you came home the way you would sometimes..." Anna asked,

"Yes, it was because I was high..." I added.

I never wanted to see my little sister go down that path. I hated her even bringing a joint to smoke, it just bothered me. I wasn't completely against marajuana either, but something about Anna smoking it made me feel like I've failed her somehow. In the end, however, we all know the reason why everything happened was my dad. My dad was a horrible tyrant that gets away with all of his actions. It was dad that began drinking after Anna was born. It was dad who hit mom repeatedly to keep her 'in line'. It was dad that continued to push for good grades. It was dad who didn't care about us at all.

So thank you, father, and the love you never gave us.

Thank you for the bruises you gave me.

Thank you for the addiction you gave Anna and I.

I hope you sleep well at night.

Back in my room, I drifted subtly off to sleep as I tossed and turned on an uncomfortable mattress. I stared up at my ceiling, hoping for an answer to be delievered, but I'm not sure even what the question was. I'm sure there were multiple at this point. Not as if it mattered to anyone but me, though, because I'm going to have to learn to stay strong sooner or later.

I awoke to the sound of talking in Anna's room. I should of got up to check, but... I was unable to move from my sleep. I was exhausted from crying so much. Putting it off as nothing would turn out to be one of my worst mistakes I've made so far. Because little did I know until later whose voice it was. When I actually pulled myself out of bed in later hours, I opened the door and found my sister holding a pipe... again.

She freaked out and threw the pipe on the floor, and she slid father up on her bed. Anna was lucky this time, because the powder didn't create as much as a mess as it did previously. Without saying a word, I cleaned up the mess and carefully disposed of the pipe. I was not mad at her for this, and I couldn't make myself be mad at her either.

"I'm so sorry." Anna sniffled.

"Don't worry about it." I said. Then I left.

However, when I turned to leave, I was face to face with the devil himself.

"I thought I told you to stay away from her." I huffed.

"I thought I said I didn't care." Hans said smugly.

"You're a pathetic waste of the gene pool..." I clenched my teeth and glared.

"That's kind of harsh, concidering I'm a legitimate child." He watched me crumble at those words.

"I thought I told you never to mention that!" Anna yelled. I glared at Anna, hurt flaring in my eyes.

The arguing between them becaming severely muffled by my thoughts racing a million miles per hour. He meant to hit me, but not this fatally. It took my sisters increasingly loud screaming to take me out of my trance. Hans had tackled her to her bed, and I ran out and grabbed the nearest item I could— a wrench of some sort— and I swung as hard as I could at the back of his head. I was able to get him about three times before he stumbled and hit the wall, knocked out for good.

"What is going on?" Elisa demanded. When she walked into the room, she gasped and gestured Fawn away.

"What did you do?" Elisa asked.

"He was forcing himself on Anna..." I said through heavy breathing.

"Is that true?" She questioned Anna.

"Yeah..." Anna nodded her head quickly.

"How did he find you?" I demanded. Elisa had began cleaning up the floor and went to clean the wrench. I sat down on her bed and held my head in my hand.

"I gave him my number before we left, because I still have an addiction. It never left, and every moment I spent in that hell of a prison my addiction only got worse. I'm good at hiding things, Elsa. I'm tired of playing pretend." Anna picked up the pipe, Elisa refused to touch it. "I'm going to have this addiction for a life time." She added.

We said nothing more, and I only left the room. Anna had placed the pipe somewhere in her bag, and Elisa called the police and we all got thoroughly questioned. Hans eventually woke up from his comatose state and he was mirandized, then proceeded to be placed into a cop car. Everything happened within the span of an hour or so, and we were already exhausted and on the verge of tears.

We had a meeting in the lobby. Apparently all of the employees said this happens at least once per few months, so they're used to it. Elisa had said she refused to continue moving, and the bus stop near here could still take us to our school (guess that means we aren't dropping out after all). The disappointment showed on our faces, because she attempted to enlighten us with good news afterwards.

"You only have to go until you're finished. Elsa, you're a senior so you don't have to worry. Anna, you're a sophomore but when Elsa graduates you can get your GED if you want." Elisa stated.

"I just hate that school so much..." Anna sniffled.

A night of tossing and turning finally ended when the alarm clock on my phone went off. I quickly shut it off and pulled on a dark purple loose tank top, a dark short simple skirt, and my knee high boots and shuffled out the door with my black backpack. Anna was already waiting for me, wearing high waisted pastel blue shorts with an anchor cut off tank top and her black Toms. We sat down under the roof of the waiting place while the rain poured down in front of us.

"So, what are we going to do?" Anna asked while fiddling with the umbrellas we brought.

"I don't know..." I mumbled.

"Well, we are going to have to do something. I can't just keep letting Hans into my life. If this keeps up, I don't know what's going to happen..." Anna admitted. She touched her braids and stared at me. I could tell her anxiety was through the roof.

My hair fell down in waves in front of my face. "Anna, you're just going to have to be strong..." I said.

On the way to school, everything kept distracting me. I could hardly focus through my hours and I rarely got my work done, because I had Hans in most of my hours it seemed. I kept looking at him, and the bruises showed the fight from yesterday. He never once glanced at me or approached me, but he was all over Anna. I overheard them talking in one of my classes...

"How did you get out?" Anna whispered.

"Rich parents can bribe my way out of anything. They really don't care," he replied.

"I wish my parents were liked that..." Anna giggled.

After school, it continued to pour outside and I didn't wait for Anna at the bus stop. I had to continue to wipe tears around my make up in order to not smudge it. Black eyeshadow was hard to fix, afterall. Part of me was blaming Anna for even going back to that horrible piece of trash, but another part of me knew nothing was going to change if I continued with that attitude. I reached into my backpack and took out my journal.

**_Dear journal, it turned December 16th today. 2014._**

**_Listening to Hurricane Drunk by Florence + the Machine._**

**_Anna continues to talk to that trash even though she's getting her life ruined. I'm beginning to think that the only way to get rid of this problem is to get rid of Hans. Rather that means putting him in jail or getting rid of him myself, that will just have to be answered in the future. Her drug addiction isn't helping anyone in this "family" and I can't even get a cigarette anymore. I wish I could just disappear._**

**_love,_**

**_Elsa._**

I can hear her and Hans in the other room. I know exactly what they're doing and I know he is just using her. Part of me wants to bust that damn door down and shoot him, the only problem is I don't have a gun, or the strength to kick down a door. I put on my headphones and cried into my palms for a few minutes, then laid down and shoved my finished homework into my black backpack. I tried my best to loose myself in the music, but all my attempts were fruitless.

_**You hit me once...**_

"I could lend you some more, but you'd need to pay extra..." He said.

_**I hit you back...**_

"That sounds fine..." She replied.

_**You gave a kick...**_

"I'll get it ready, then..." I heard him rumbling through things.

_**I gave a slap...**_

I got up and went outside into the hall, grabbing the nearest weapon like object near me— my umbella. Pretty wimpy, but what else is there to use? We are in a broken down motel. There isn't much choice here.

_**You smashed a plate o**__**ver my head...**_

"I hope you don't mind paying extra..." I heard him laugh.

"I don't mind at all..." Anna flirted.

"Yeah, but I do..." I yelled as I opened the door. Go figure, she left it open.

_**Then I set fire to our bed...**_

I swung as hard as I could at him using the handle to hit him. It wasn't doing much but buying me time. Maybe Elisa would hear me and run to play hero again.

"Stop!" I heard someone stay. I turned around to see. It was the manager.

"Tell him to stay away from here!" I yelled and gestured to Hans.

Anna screamed loud enough to almost deafen me, and when I turned to her, I heard a gun shot to off. A pain shot through my left side and I collapsed onto the floor. Before I knew it, I blacked out and the next thing I remember is being rushed to the hospital.

**_A kiss with a fist is better than none._**


	7. Don't Take My Sunshine Away

**Hello everyone! I worked a bit faster on this chapter. I wanted to start publishing parts every three days, but school makes it impossible. Anyway, you get a short AN this time. Enjoy! (Also, this chapter is slightly shorter than most. I apologize in advance.)**

* * *

><p>I wish that I had never gotten involved with Anna that day. I wish I never had went to that park. I wish I had never badly scraped up my legs in that car crash. I wish bad things would stop happening to me for once. All I ask for is a simple life to live, and no one has even bothered to answer my prayers. I can't help but feel so hopeless that I might just crumble once and for all.<p>

In the back of the ambulance, nothing seemed to bother me anymore. I did not care that they loaded me onto the stretcher and hauled me off. Anna, on the other hand, was crying and panicking like a mad person. She was screaming at the personnel, demanding that she be allowed to ride with me. After everyone had a terrible headache, they left her at the motel and drove off.

They rushed me in and put a breathing mask over my face. I felt no panick or anxiety, and part of me even trusted these people. Nothing bad would surely happen to me here, and if it did, I wouldn't even be remotely disappointed. Something changed within me when Hans had shot me, some part of me had finally faded and been replaced with apathy and a vague feeling of depression. The feelings I had for most of my life just suddenly bloomed within me.

"Status?" A nurse demanded.

"She's stable!" Another replied.

The rest of the memory isn't really there. I remember being given multiple drugs and asked if I was okay. I remember them changing my clothes and checking on me often. I remember a few of the nurses faces, but not their names. Talk about a rough week.

They gave me a plain pale blue room with a huge window. The TV had Netflix, so I could pass my time watching some movies. I was visited every hour or so by the nurses, and they told me I would be out in maybe a few weeks. Luckily, I had no surgery done and I was recovering quite steadily. Elisa and Anna visited to drop off my homework and help me when I needed it, and Anna shared the news of Hans returning to his cell once again. They don't plan on letting him out anytime soon, which added on to my list of fortunate things.

"Unfortunately, that means I'm left with an unfixed addiction. It's not like I can afford rehab, and the stuff I buy isn't exactly pure. It's the cheap stuff, and I'm only able to afford an eight ball a month. It's not exactly ideal to me..." Anna complained.

"I'm sorry about that... But you're getting a few grams out of it. Why complain about that?" I reply.

"You make a good point," she paused. "Say, when you found me with that pipe in my room the other day, you didn't really seem to mind. You only said 'don't worry about it'. Any reason why?" Anna asked.

"Because I was just disappointed in you, that's all, really." I sighed.

"Oh..." Anna mumbled.

I forgot the rest of her visit because it was nothing but meaningless babbling. I began getting harsher towards the outside world as the days passed by, but Anna and I remained particularly close. I'm not really sure why I was getting so harsh, but I figured it was probably what Hans has done. I couldn't help but blame everyone else around me for my own actions, though, because the fight was my fault anyway. All in all however, the weeks went by without a care and I was out of the hospital before I knew it. I missed Christmas, but we couldn't afford any gifts anyway. I missed New Years, but what is a new year but a new disappointment? Any optimistic feeling in my body immediately fled from my sight.

My first night home I was expected to go back to school. Like hell I was going back to that place. However, I had no choice but to go and I had to try and make the best of it. Knowing me, however, the best of things are always the worst of things. I couldn't focus on anything anymore, and I was so tempted to steal some of the eight ball Anna had scored. A toke or two or three or five couldn't give me another addiction, right?

So I casually asked Anna after school for some. Being the protective person she was, she absolutely refused for me to have any. Not even a toke. My initial emotion was that of disappointment, then it turned to depressed. I let my blonde hair sway in front of me as Anna and I walked to the bus stop.

"Elsa, you always stay so strong. I can't let you break that easily. I couldn't let you..." Anna hugged me from the side.

"I know... I can't help it, Anna. Everything I do is wrong." I whimper.

"No, it's not. I look up to you a lot. So does Fawn." Anna continued hugging me.

With those words, I felt a sudden saddness rise within me. Something like a shadow that enveloped every single drop of good feelings that I had left. I was not a person that should be a role model. I was an absolute failure to everyone around me, and to myself. How, in any way, shape or form, could I be looked up to? Is it my powers? No, a lot of people have powers, what makes me so special? Nothing.

I crumbled in front of Anna. My wailing attracted stares from people nearby, and I grew even more self conscious. I couldn't believe the day I was having anymore...

"Anna, I'm a terrible person!" I cried.

Anna said nothing, but she comforted me. I hated being touched, and I was going to shove her away, but I didn't have the strength. It made me feel horrible when she comforted me, because every time she was crying I only picked up a book. I couldn't comfort people, I could only watch them fall into a saddness they couldn't escape. In return, they brought me down with them.

I wish I could of been a better friend.

**_An hour later_**

My side required changing bandages every so often and frequent visits back to the doctor. They said I was making a rapid recovery, but I know that was only physically. I've always been a rapid healer on the outside, but every physical injury only caused a bigger mental one. No one insisted that my depression was worsening by the weeks, no one insisted on any more therapy, no one insisted on checking in on me anymore. I don't know if it's the mask I wear that fools them so well, or they know I have a struggling problem and they can't do anything but watch from afar. I was beginning to think it was the latter.

I lay on my bed, tired and aching. After awhile, I decide to pull out my journal and look through the worn pages, all the entries from months gone by. I can't help but think about the person I used to be, the person I envied so much. She could of been a better person if she had just made the right choices. I wonder if she would be proud of me for what I am now.

I lay back down and listen to the storm that begins to stir outside. The rain patter on my window was enough to make me tired, but an anchor of reality refused to let me sink into sleep. My mind was blank, and I wondered what happened to the rage I brought home from the hospital... Did it all turn to bitterness?

Was I just another mistake in the end? Did I really think I was going to get better? Was all that therapy and trying for nothing?

I opened my journal and searched my room for a pen.

**_Dear Journal, January 27th, 2015_**

**_Listening to For Emma - Bon Iver._**

**_As I write this, I feel absolutely nothing. I can't shake the weight of apathy from anything I do. I cannot pour passion into my art, and I'm beginning to think that maybe I just deserve to feel this way. Elisa and I have officially broken apart because she's never around anymore. So much for having a mother around. Fawn and Anna are generally together, excluding me from everything they do. I hate the way I chase people away. I hate that I can't control that I do it. I hate not caring for people anymore. I don't like where my attitude is taking me. The anchor of apathy won't let me go. I go from feeling all my feelings at once to feeling absolutely nothing. What is wrong with my emotions?_**

**_Love,_**

**_Elsa._**

Every word on that page was true. I did not think well of myself, and my depression has officially made my apathy the main emotion of my life. That anger from the hospital turned not to bitterness, but to uncaring nothingness. I was a frigid she'll of my past life, and soon my high C's began plummeting to F's again. Depression had taken control of my life, and this time it had won.

I knew I'd never feel again.

Days began passing and Elisa finally got herself a new job. She's working full time at a grocery store and she couldn't get home to see her child anymore. Fawn was at school when she left in the morning, and when she arrived at night. Her hours were three p.m. to ten p.m. because of lack of employees. Some days she worked overtime. Fawn was beginning to lose her mother, too. I felt absolutely nothing for her.

"Elsa? The police are here?" I heard Anna at the door. I put down my book and stepped outside. Three cops were waiting for me.

"If you don't mind," one of them said, "we have some questions for Fawn."

Fawn stepped forward from behind Anna's leg.

"Hello!" The same one said, attempting to be nice. "Can I ask you a few questions." He bent down and met her eye level.

"Uhmmm... Okay..." Fawn mumbled.

"Does your mother take good care of you?" First question.

"Yeah!" Fawn exclaimed. "She makes me yummy fruit snacks!" She added.

"Do you like being here? In this motel?" Second question.

"No!" Fawn spoke in the same tone.

"Where are those bruises from?" Third question.

"I fell on the playground!" Fawn glanced down at herself.

"That's not what your father said. Fawn, we have reason to believe that your mother is abusing you. Is that true?" Forth question.

"What does that mean?" Fawn questioned.

"That means your mother isn't very nice to you— is it true?" Fifth question.

"She yells at me sometimes." Fawn spoke.

"Okay, that's all we needed. Thank you folks for your time. If you need something, just call the station." They left after writing down some information.

I was already in my room again when Anna asked a question.

"Elsa?" Anna said, "do you think they'll take Fawn away?" She added.

"I don't know..." I replied.

"That's all you ever say anymore." Suddenly, Anna grew mad. "Do you ever think about anyone but yourself? You're so selfish. This is Elisa's daughter were talking about." She started to yell.

I didn't reply. I only locked the door and went to bed. I didn't want anymore of this day to occur. Anna had walked off after waiting for a reply for over five minutes. I couldn't help but pick my book back up and try to loose myself in the pages. Nothing mattered anymore to me in this moment.

**_10:57 p.m._**

"Looks like I got off early!" Elisa called into the empty room.

"Fawn?" She echoed.

"Mommy!" Fawn yelled.

"Fawn?" Elisa worried.

I heard her burst out of her room and into the hallway.

"I'm sorry, m'am. We have reason to believe that you're abusing your daughter." I heard the same cop as earlier.

"What? No, I'm not!" Elisa argued. "You can't take my child!" She yelled.

As they walked further down the hall, I couldn't hear the exact argument. Whatever had happened, it caused Elisa to storm back into her room and lock the door. I heard nothing but muffled sobs from her room for the rest of the day.

And I felt absolutely nothing.


	8. New Beginnings

**Hello everyone once again! Some major things happen in this chapter so make sure to read it to the very end. I hope this chapter was good enough because I worked rather hard on it. There are trigger warnings for drug usage, implied assault, and I think that's it. Other than that, enjoy!**

I get it was all a game to then, playing cat and mouse with the criminals and giggling like children when the justice has prevailed in the end. I can't help but find that the treatment we receive is unjust. Things are not any easier, and things aren't very difficult either. We are not on the streets, and we have food to eat, and we are all here minus one. Maybe Fawn needed to be taken away, anyway. She was an annoying brat that never did as she was told. Standing up, I pound on the wall to shut Elisa's crying up. Why deal with a pathetic child anymore, anyway?

I lock my door and stare at the night sky outside. Once again, the pathetic room was shouting, '_GET OUTTA HERE AND MAKE A LIFE FOR YOURSELF, YOU DON'T NEED TO LIVE LIKE THIS!_', and as much as I'd love to, I can't. Something is compelling me to be here. This miserable feeling between numbness and anger kept fluxing in my mind, and they meld together and create a walking bipolar mess. I'd walk right out right now if I could just get my motions to cooperate.

I sat down at my desk and laid my head down. I could hear Elisa begin to make phone calls in the other room, crying into the receiver that she did not do anything to hurt her precious daughter. Getting Fawn back at this point would be impossible at this point, and I wasn't one to help anyone anymore. Or at least that's what I tell myself, because everytime I try and uphold that thought, I always ended up helping someone or other. Mostly it was Anna that needed my help the most. I slowly drifted into a sleep and when I awoke, it was 5:33 AM, time to get ready for school.

I put on a black medium-length dress and with my black knee high heels, and my baggy black cardigan. I line my eyes with eyeliner, and I meet Anna outside her room wearing a baggy galaxy shirt and skinny jeans with her toms, complete with black beanie. She met me by the breakfast bar and we grabbed some muffins and waited for the bus outside. It was still raining, and I pulled my loose blonde hair to one side. Anna didn't speak up until she finished her muffin.

"It's a shame we lost Fawn..." She sighed, and looked down at her palms.

"She deserves a better home," I said harshly.

"I guess you're right," she didn't exactly pick up on my harshness.

At school, we didn't have much to do. No one had any homework and it was practically a free day. Surprisingly enough, I read most of my hours and finished my book before the school day was over. I was thankful that I kept more than one with me at all times. Anna, on the other hand, was talking to the trouble makers and I couldn't help but notice it. I wanted to drag her away from the conversations, but something kept me from going near her. After school, she told me she'd be going home with some friends. I didn't think it could hurt Anna, so I let her go ahead and go, but I feel like I should of said no. I just hope she didn't get in much trouble...

**ANNA'S POINT OF VIEW**

"Did you get what we bargained for?" Jacey asked. She played her obviously dyed platinum hair obnoxiously while waiting for an answer. Her knock off Chanel shirt meant business.

"Hell yeah!" Brannon replied, one of Hans' many brothers. He has four living with them at the moment. He looked very similar to Hans he was almost his twin, but the only difference was his blue eyes. He wore a light blue hoodie and some dark blue jeans.

"Man, you guys aren't patient enough." Kris complained and played with the drawstrings on his black hoodie. He laid back and stared at the ceiling. We were all in the basement— the game room, it's apparently called. I could tell, Brannon had the latest game systems and a huge stack of games that lined the shelves and walls. He even had a few arcade games in the back.

"Okay, so we have some ice for Jacey—" Brannon handed a few small baggies to her filled with white crystals, "Some dope for Kris, we got plenty of food in the mini fridge—" he pointed at the mini fridge located near the back of the medium sized room, "Some crack for Anna—" I gently took the bag out of his hands, "and some love drug for me!" I saw several different colored tablets in his hand, some with small designs on them.

"What's that?" I asked, filling up a provided pipe.

"Ecstasy." He replied.

We didn't say much else, but Brannon turned on the TV to some news channel and turned on his stereo for music. Kris was digging around for food inside of the fridge and came back with a handful of various sodas and chips. Brannon was literally getting lost in the music and it seemed that Jacey was in her own little world. Soon, I became light as a feather and I started settling in and feeling comfortable around everyone. I noticed more people started to visit and more than enough people began to crowd the room. I was so out of my mind that I didn't particularly care. I went to go refill my bowl when Brannon stepped right up next to me.

"You seem pretty lonely, what's up with you?" He asked.

"Nothin'" my speech slurred like crazy.

"Nothing, huh? How about some of this stuff to get you dancing..." He pulled out a small blue tablet with the Chanel logo on it.

"Crack is good enough," I mumbled.

"Suits me fine..." He turned around to leave.

When I went back to my chair and took a bit of some chips, he once again attempted to talk to me. He made his way over and sat next to me. His smile reminded me of Hans... I found myself glaring in the other direction when he tried to get near me.

"Just try one, I promise it'll do you good." He swayed.

I took it without hesitation. The next few hours were a blur filled with glow sticks, loud dance music, and several tablets of ectasy and a few tokes of crack. When I started remembering what was next, it was three A.M. and everyone had left except for us four that were already here. Brannon still seemed particularly awake, but Kristoph and Jacey were out cold.

"We should do that again sometime," he told me.

"Huh? Do what?" I said while holding my head in my hands.

"You're very good at what you do..." He flirted.

I shoved him away from me, "W-w-what are you talking about?" I defended myself by leaning even farther away.

"Like you don't remember, we had a great time together," he suddenly brushed up against me and I felt helpless. "Do you remember now?" He asked.

My memory was blurred, but I was vaguely aware of what had happened. I remember him giving me some ectasy but everything was a blur. Assuming what he meant, he could take advantage of me once, but I wouldn't let him get away with this. I heard you could go straight to the cops if something like this happened, so I picked myself up and stumbled towards the door.

"Need some help, lovely?" He offered me, and he rushed to help me up the stairs.

"Don't touch me you pig!" I yelled and ran up the stairs and nearly tripped out the front door.

It was hard to make my way to the bus stop, and I wasn't exactly sobered up. The police station would know by the way I'm acting I was on something, so I'd have to go in tomorrow if I wanted to say anything. My chapped lips were only becoming worse in the cold wind, and I checked my phone for the time. I sat down under the bus stop and the screen read, "3:17". Elsa was going to kill me.

**ELSA'S POINT OF VIEW**

Killing her would be an understatement. When she arrived at the motel, I immediately took her into her room and slammed the door and locked it. I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall. I was not going to play games with her anymore.

"So, start talking. I know you're high as hell and I know you did more than what you promised. You can't even dress yourself right." I chastised her and she began crying, my feelings of anger did not lighten.

"I didn't mean to!" She sobbed. "He gave me crack and gave me ecstasy, and before we knew it I made a big mistake, Elsa! I can't do this anymore! What am I going to do? My grades are plummeting and I can't go to school tomorrow looking like this! I have no one else to turn to but you!" She added between gasps.

"Wait..." I uncrossed my arms and approached her, "what mistake are you talking about?" I glared at her.

"He gave me ecstasy and- and- and-" she gasped and cried more, "I can't remember! It wasn't my fault!" She defended.

This broke down my walls for a moment, but I shielded myself back up and grabbed her shoulders.

"Anna, I am going to report this to the police. Stay here and _don't. be. stupid._ Okay?" I asked her. She only nodded in reply. I went next door to my room and got redressed.

I walked down to the police in the pouring rain, my umbrella not doing much to prohibit my outfit getting soaked. Walking inside, it was just my luck to see a familiar face. I glared at him with so much anger I thought he'd notice, but he didn't.

"I hate you." I growled at him.

"I don't even know you. You're probably talking about my brother, though. I've heard it a million times before." He spoke with a slurred speech.

"Huh. Why are you here then? I saw you talking with my sister today. Don't think I'm blind, I know what you did." I crossed my arms again.

"Shut your mouth, I'm here because someone stole six hundred dollars from me." He argued and slumped in his chair.

I grabbed the front of his hoodie and yanked him close to me. I began freezing my hand and in turn, the ice swept up onto his hoodie. He looked generally angry and not afraid, and he looked as if he was about to swing and punch me if it hadn't been for the cop that yelled at us to stop. The cop I recognized was the one that took Fawn away.

"What can I help you with?" He asked.

"I want to report an assault on my sister, and he was the one who did it." I pointed.

"We can file your case, but it'll take awhile for us to look into, m'am..." He spoke calmly.

The next hour was so boring I nearly fell asleep, but long story short, I got the report filed and I was able to make it home and get dressed for school. I wore a casual dark purple dress with my same boots and my same cardigan. My hair remained in it's always brushed and flowy state. Anna met me near the breakfast bar again and she couldn't eat anything from being so nervous. She changed her outfit to a high waisted skirt and a cute pastel blue crop top with minimalist designs. She picked at her muffin nervously and I could tell she had been crying.

"Anna," I comforted her unknowingly, "I know you're going through an awful time. I'm going to sound very cliche when I say this but please just listen. We can get through this together, and you don't have to be afraid anymore. I got the report filed and we can win. You're going to make it through this. We are going to make it through this. I swear to any diety above I'm going to stay with you until the very end."

She sniffled and cried slightly, "Elsa?" She asked me.

"Yeah, what is it Anna?" I replied softly.

"Why are you so nice to me and Elisa, but so mean to everyone else?" She said through gasps.

"I rarely let my walls down for anyone. You are my exceptions, Anna. You and Elisa both." I said.

"One more thing, Elsa..." She didn't look at me.

"Anything." I leaned towards her.

"I woke up feeling bad." Anna laid her head down on the table.

Anna's day at school was obviously rough for her, she got snickers down the hall and people were talking about her in my classes. I felt the need to silence a few of them by freezing their mouths shut, but thankfully there was more than one ice powered person in my class. I didn't get in trouble, but Anna repeatedly got called to the office. The poor girl was suffering more than I could know.

A week later they continued questioning us and concluded that Brannon had indeed assulted my sister. One more Hans' like figure in jail was fine by me. Anna was chipper because she went one whole week without even touching drugs, and I was so glad for her. On the other hand, Anna felt bad on and off and she could hardly eat anything. This couldn't be a good sign, but I could also tell she had a bit of hope by the way she stood strong for me— no, for us.

"Elsa, I decided that I'm going to make the most of this situation." She told me.

"I'm happy for you. Elisa knows as well, and she's supporting whatever decision you make. However, do you really know if you're... You know..." I asked her.

Anna stared at me briefly. "I don't, but I swear if I am I'm giving this child the best years of it's life." She stated.

"I just hope you know what you're talking about..." I sighed and turned away.

Over the course of three months, I had graduated school finally and Anna moved into Junior year. Instead of going back, she chose to stay and get her GED instead. Anna is taking her predicament quite well, and in fact, she hasn't been more healthy. As unfortunate as this may have been, Anna had been a warrior in terms of moving past what has happened. It must be the motherly instinct she gained from all of this. For once I believed our family was healing. Elisa was also back on her feet, working hard to support Anna and even got a new job for herself. She gets to visit Fawn as much as she likes, as well. As for me? I'm stuck in the same place as always.

The next months also went by like a breeze. Nothing major had occurred except for the newest addition to the family. A healthy baby girl named Shaylee Madeline Arendelle. The motel did not charge us anything but fifteen extra and we could gladly cover that. Little Shaylee looked just like her mother, but the blue eyes worried me. Then again, all baby's are born with blue eyes, so it's not so much worrying as it is inevitable.

Shaylee ended up being rather quiet for her age, but eventually opened up more and began playing with Anna and feeding when she was directed to. For a sixteen going on seventeen year old girl, I thought it was going to rather difficult for her to raise a child. It was rather the opposite, and she stuck true to her word. Anna was raising Shaylee like any good mother should. Of course, Elisa helped out when Anna needed help and acted almost as another mother. Anna even deemed her godmother of Shaylee, and I thought of no one that could fit it better than Elisa.

As for me?

Well...

There's still a long road ahead.

This wouldn't spell the end just yet.


	9. Lovey Dovey

**Hello everyone! I reference some more bands/musicians in this so this is just a disclaimer. I don't own anything by them. I just really like them. Also, for national Coming Out day that I sadly missed, I wrote this chapter for it. Enjoy! **

Shaylee was crying in Anna's room and I ran to take care of her while Anna was out buying a few things. I gave her thirty to cover food and necessities. Hopefully I could trust her with that money, besides, crack is more expensive then that. I cradled Shaylee and she immediately calmed as I began swaying her in my arms.

"You'd make a wonderful mother, Elsa." Elisa took Shaylee from me.

"I hate children, but Shaylee is my niece, so..." I defended myself.

I couldn't help but notice how much different Elisa was starting to look. Her tan skin was still the same and still as beautiful as ever, and her black hair and been buzzed on the side and dyed the remaining with electric blue streaks. I knew Elisa had a rebellious side, but I had actually just noticed how much she was giving into it... It fit her quite well. I lightened at the tought that Elisa would be breaking stereotypes with that baby, she'd be so caring but have that slight edge to her personality. Elisa was the type of person I aspired to be one day.

Not to mention her wardrobe was changing slightly. She redesigned her old clothes into tank tops and various short skirts and tattered jeans, trying to make them appear artsy with the little supplies we had. I was wondering why she was in nursing in the first place, but I think her caring personality spoke for itself. She glanced over at me with her dark eyes.

"You're staring, why?" Elisa questioned me.

"Everyone is changing in so many ways..." I noted to her.

"You're right, Elsa. Even Anna has matured from what she once was. I can't believe it's almost autumn again." Elisa set Shaylee down on the bed.

I kept receding into my shell for some reason. I told myself I wouldn't complain anymore, or do anything to get into anyone's way, but it seems like I just do that anyway. I can't help but complain and I can't help but be a nuisance. I couldn't stop thinking about how easier it would be without me here. What if I ran away after all?

Couldn't hurt to try, after all. I knew various places where the homeless gathered. Underneath the highway bridge that wasn't too far from where I was, and somewhere in the ally's of the run down factories or something of that sort. I told Elisa I was going out and I dressed in a black maxi skirt and a gray and black tank top. I grabbed my leather jacket and brushed my hair, leaving it down to blow in the wind. I noticed I really needed a haircut, my hair was already a couple inches above my elbows...

I pull on my purple headphones and put on some _Marina and the Diamonds_. I tried to be as quiet as I could while I explored the undertones of the city, finding homeless groups almost everywhere. I took my time and donated some money, meaning I gave a few quarters and they blessed me for it. By the time I had explored, my feet were cramping from my boots. I sat outside the grocery store and leaned back.

"Hi, Elsa!" I didn't recognize the voice. A girl about my age with almond eyes sat down next to me. Her hair fell in subtle waves around her heart shaped face, and she was wearing cute fashion that reminded me of something from Harajuku... Cult Party Kei, I think? She looked like a cute, fluffy angel.

"Oh... Xia?" I just guessed.

"Yeah! How have you been? You're quiet at school now a days... Same with Anna." Xia sat closer to me.

"Yeah, some stuff has really been going on and I haven't been my best..." I mumbled to her.

"That's unfortunate, if it makes you feel better, my sister's girlfriend just dumped her today." Xia admitted, and I leaned away for some room.

"That's not good, what happened with them?" I asked, hopefully not striking a conversation.

"Qui is asexual." Xia stated briefly.

"Oh... That's a stupid reason to dump someone..." I noted to her. Suddenly a question sparked in my mind... "Are you gay, as well?" I added quietly.

"Not exactly, I consider myself biromantic and gray asexual— meaning I'm not exactly asexual, but the feeling is just weak." Xia explained for me.

"That's completely understandable. I'm similar to you in a way. I think they call it lithsexual?" I questioned lightly.

"You _experience _it, but you don't want to do it, right?" Xia asked.

"Yeah," I added.

"Then yes, that's lithsexual. Any romantic orientation?" Xia was becoming engaged in the topic. Her eyes gleamed and she seemed generally interested in the subject. I loved seeing people get into their passions about things... It was almost cute with her.

"Demiromantic." I replied, and I noticed I was leaning towards her.

"My sister is asexual and homoromantic..." Xia noted, and glanced down at the ground.

I blushed and push away a bit, giving her some room.

"I— ah, I like your eyeshadow..." I fidgeted with my clothes.

"Th-thanks! It's called 'Winter Peach'. It's such a nice pastel pink color!" She giggled nervously, which I found adorable.

"Looks like you guys are getting acquainted, eh?" Anna made me jump from my seat.

"We are just talking!" I argued and blushed.

"Uh huh. That's what they all say. I'll just leave you here, alone..." Anna walked away with a smug look and several plastic bags.

"It's getting late, do you think I could stay with you? My parents aren't exactly in a good mood..." Xia explained.

"Huh? Why is that?" I asked.

"They didn't know Qui was in a relationship all this time..." Xia continued staring at the sidewalk.

Long story short, I let her stay. The walk back was a little antzy, but we talked about our common interests. We both loved different types of music, but listened to similar artists. She loved J-pop and Chinese indie artists and I listened to it somewhat infrequently, and I loved K-pop and various pop indie artists. Back in my room at the motel, She introduced me to _The Marshmallow Kisses _and I introduced her to _Florence + the Machine_. I showed her my artwork and she told me she sewed her own clothes. We demonstrated our powers, Xia careful not to burn anything and I trying not to get her too cold.

My hard heart practically melted.

"I'll introduce you to new fashion if you'd like—" she started shuffling through pictures on her phone, "this one is _Mori girl _and this one is _Cult Party Kei_. It's a very cute fashion, named after a store." She explained kindly.

"You're very knowledgeable." I told her.

"You're too kind..." She replied demurely.

We shared a moment of silence as we stared at each other. It was only a brief second, but it felt like I was in a movie. I finally knew that they really didn't exaggerate the feeling at all, my cold walls were crumbling and I felt a rush of warmth flood my heart. I didn't know if I was in love or infatuated, because we only talked for a few moments at school but this was something else. She introduced more bands she loved: _Capsule, Perfume, Kyary, Kanon Wakeshima_... I showed off my love for _SHINEE, Miss A, SNSD, T-ara_...

Suddenly she got a call and she answered, talking in a foriegn language I realized was Mandarin. I stared at the wall as she calmly talked into the phone. After about three minutes she hung up.

"No worries, it was just my mom checking up on me." She reassured me.

Sitting down next to me, we turned on the TV and put on a movie. It was a cheesy eighties horror movie, and she covered her eyes at the scary parts. As spontaneous as it was, I had to assume she was faking it and trying to give me a hint. I put a protective arm around her and pulled her close. After that, she did not jump anymore.

I figured now was a good time for getting all _lovey-dovey_...

And by _lovey-dovey_, I mean I have no clue how love works.

"Uh, Xia?" I got her attention. Her cute brown eyes stared into mine and I glanced away. I couldn't do this...

"Yes?" She kept looking at me.

"I— nevermind..." I glanced at the wall.

"You've got my attention, might as well say it!" She spoke.

Did I mention I don't know how love works?

"You're really cute and I like you a lot?!" I said in some tone I didn't recognize.

"Awww, thank you! I try to be cute. I just like the feeling I get from being unique." Xia sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Just wondering... Can you speak Japanese?" I questioned.

"Meh, my Chinese is a bit stronger. English is my main language. If anything, I learn Japanese for fun, but also because my dad's relatives visit more often than my mother's. My mom wants me to learn Mandarin anyway, just in case her relatives visit." Xia explained as some teenagers on TV ran into the forest... again...

"Are you gonna tell me to say something?" Xia asked me.

"No. I'd love for you to teach me Mandarin sometime, though. I could teach you some choppy German!" I laughed, and Xia joined.

"It's a deal." She told me.

I can't remember what else we talked about. I remember getting sleepy and Xia turning off the TV. When I awoke, she was in the opposite bed and staring at me softly. I think she noticed when I stared back, because she sat up and began talking.

"I suppose I'll go home, but I don't want to leave." Xia told me sadly.

"You don't have to..." I told her. "Also, did you sleep in your clothes?"

"Walk with me, my house isn't far. And yes, I did."

I got dressed in a off shoulder drapey dark purple shirt and matching dark drapey skirt complete with my heels. We told Elisa where we were going, and Anna side eyed me and jabbed my side with her elbow playfully. As we walked, I wanted to hold her hand, but I only got close to brushing it slightly. I was tempted to ask her if she wanted to, but decided against it. I didn't even know if she liked me yet. I didn't even know if she had a crush on someone else...

"Hey, we're here." She snapped me out of my thoughts. "Just a warning, my mother is very liberal and my dad is as well. Does that bother you at all?"

"No, I'm liberal myself." I answered.

"Good. Me, too." She turned away.

She opened the door and her parents greeted me as we walked back into her room. The house itself was moderate yet nice, considering it was a cookie cutter house. Qui seemed to not be home, though. Xia packed up and rushed to take a shower. I sat in her creme and pastel room covered in plushes and posters, taking in the details. When she arrived back, she smelled of mint and berries, dressed in mori fashion. Her dark hair was pulled into a lovely top bun, complete with deer pin.

"You look very cute." Is all I could muster. The fact was, she looked rather stunning. She pulled off all the things she wore.

"Thank you." She spoke softly.

We told her parents we would be off in town, and they gave us plenty of money and told us to be safe. An entire day I'd get to be with Xia! The thought made me slightly pink, just like her eyeshadow and blush. My makeup was as simple as winged eyeliner and slight mascara. I couldn't ever hope to be as beautiful as she was.

We stopped by the large mall and bought clothes, and told me to start dressing in mori fashion. I bought darker toned clothes, though, because that's just what I liked. We bought coffee from a cute side cafe, and we went from shop to shop just enjoying ourselves. With Xia, I forgot my problems and I felt I could be myself. Turns out, she opened up just as I did, and I couldn't help but see another funny side of her I couldn't believe she had. I told her about my history (leaving some parts out) and she told me her average upbringing in the U.S. as a young girl.

I was incredibly jealous.

We took a walk around the blocks of the city, checking out shops and gardens and parks. We had already spent up five hours just enjoying each other's presence, and no one has infuriated us with text messages or pointless calls. We sampled cakes and sweets, and we even took a chance at ice skating. I held her up as she was shaking and trying to find her balance. On our way back to my house, I hardly realized it was already 4:57 P.M.

Laying down on my bed, I turned on the AC and washed off my make up. Xia joined me in doing so, because our faces were tired and covered in oil by the time we got home. I let her borrow some of my face wash and I got us some soda from the lobby.

"I'm sorry I live in a motel." I said shyly.

"It's fine, I don't mind." Xia sat down and flipped on the TV.

Shaylee was giggling in the other room.

"Is that your sisters baby?" Xia asked.

"Yeah, it's not a good story..." I mumbled.

"Tell me anyway." And so I did, and I even told her even more about myself. I was surprised she didn't judge me...

"Drugs, huh? I've never done them. I've seen what they do to people." Xia faced me. I sat up and leaned close to her. I could still smell the soap she used...

"Never fall into them. It was a horrible mistake. I never meant for it to happen." I had to keep myself from crying. That was too easy for me, I was used to it.

"You're not a bad person..." Xia told me.

"Really?" I glanced at her.

"Really."

I guess she leaned farther because she hugged me, and it wasn't a friendly hug, either. It was a nice one, and it comforted me. The sound of the TV telling unimportant news stories drowned out as we cuddled with each other. Since I was shorter, I got little spoon, but we weren't so much doing that as we were just close to each other.

Don't judge me.

"I love you." Xia told me.

I didn't hesitate at all. "I love you, too," and I hugged her.

"Do you think I'm over exaggerating?" Xia asked me.

"Not at all. I don't care if you are, either. I think your feelings are true." I told her softly.

"Good." She breathed quietly.

Suddenly we were interrupted by Anna, and I didn't dare move. "I'm sorry, Elsa, but I need help." Anna whined to me. "You don't have to move, but can you make sure to tell me if anyone walks down this hallway?" Anna added.

"I'll make sure." I told her.

I heard a brief argument in the hallway.

"I'm not staying next to lesbians in this damned building!" A masculine voice raised.

"They're just friends!" Elisa defended. "Either way, don't you dare go into their room!" She yelled.

"Like hell I would, it's an abomination!" The man retaliated.

"Just like your existance!" Elisa shouted back.

Xia didn't seemed that phased, but the words outside somehow got to me. I didn't see anything wrong with this relationship, because I've known Xia for awhile... We just haven't talked that much. It doesn't mean our relationship isn't true.

Grabbed Xia, we stood up and went outside to face the man. He was fairly attractive, but obnoxious all the same. Xia held my hand tight as we approached him.

"You are living in sin!" He gestured to us. "Leviathan—"

"Just shut the hell up. You have no right to judge others. 'Love thy neighbor', what about that one, huh? Bet you didn't even know Jesus preached love and acceptance. Just shut up and go cry somewhere else." Xia practically yelled in his face.

"God said anyone who defied him is—"

"Going straight to hell, I get it. Do me a favor. Save me a seat." Xia turned and we returned to our room. The man was wide eyed and dumbfounded. Elisa laughed and shooed him off as he couldn't even summon words.

"Four thousand something years worth of evolution. He needs to start acting like it." Xia hugged me tightly.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you, too." She whispered back.

She kissed my forehead lightly and we continued cuddling. As the day turned to six something, we had talked about ourselves and laid in bed for who knows how long. We were super close to each other, and I was almost tempted to pull away. I didn't, and I'm glad I didn't.

Xia leaned in to kiss me.

"Are you sure you want to kiss a crack addict?" I asked her.

"You said you haven't done that in years." She spoke.

"I haven't." I replied.

"Then it's fine. We are both the same age, too. Don't worry so much." Xia said optimistically.

She kissed me lightly and innocently, and pulled away to rest her head on mine. It was a good feeling to be loved my someone who you trusted infinitely. I hope I could rebuild my walls with her, and maybe start a family. But this was overshooting it, I couldn't even be sure if it would last.

But I won't think that way about her.

"I love you," she whispered to me.

"I love you, too," and I truely meant it.


	10. Calm Before the Storm

**Hello everyone! I don't know how much I'm going to be able to update because I have a huge research paper to do that's due at the end of November. Well, I hope you all enjoy because I worked pretty hard on this chapter. I'll be back soon!**

* * *

><p>A week has passed since I have been dating Xia. The moments have been more than perfect, and I hope we can have more of them. Her parents are fairly accepting as long as we agreed not to show their relatives— which was fine. From what I hear they only speak Mandarin, but they are also a strict Christian family.<p>

In my room at the motel, Xia and I sit closely while listening to some _Bon Iver_. The rain outside sets the mood for cuddling, but my depression won't allow me to even be touched by anyone without risking a break down. We held hands instead, after using hand sanitizer. I feel like I'm micromanaging our relationship, but she doesn't seem to be that bothered. In fact, she seems pretty relaxed. That doesn't mean that I'm a good girlfriend, though... I know I'm an awful lover.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah, but I'm just worried about my mother's relatives. They yelled at Qui for having a relationship. Who knows what they'll do if they figure us out?" Xia worried.

"Well, do you still want me to visit?" I questioned.

"Yeah, please, it will help me a lot..." She replied.

No one ever interrupted us when we were together. We stared at each other from across the room, and I felt complete. Whenever she slightly brushed against me I feel positive about myself. The feelings weren't very long lasted, but I'd take whatever I can get.

"Have you guys seen Anna?" Elisa knocked at the door.

"No, we haven't. Did she leave a note?" I asked.

"No, but the door is locked and Shaylee is crying." Elisa opened our door and forced us out into the hall.

"Go get the police, Anna isn't responding to her calls." Elisa ordered.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire, I thought. We used the motels phone and the police arrived about ten minutes later. Xia and I kept our distances as we saw the rude guy from last week walk past us in the lobby. It may have been my mind, but I could of sworn I saw him mouth, "You're going to pay," and leave.

Xia took my hand and comforted me. When Elisa approached us in the hallway, her face was red and tears rolled down her face. I couldn't tell what was happening since the cops were in front of the door, but Elisa handed me a folded up note and I carefully read it.

**"_See You In the Future _**

**_- Anna_"**

"That's all they found. They didn't find any evidence of a disappearance other than an open window," Elisa spoke.

If I knew Anna correctly, she would probably be trudging back through those doors in a matter of weeks. She can't hold a job, nevertheless run away. I couldn't envision where she would even be able to go. No place would even take her considering what she's done.

That night I broke down my walls slightly and allowed Xia to sleep next to me. She held me close as I stared at the ceiling, and I can't help but soon drown out every other noise and end up wondering about Anna. I wonder if she really meant it or not. I think they let Shaylee stay in a foster home down the road with Fawn, because this motel isn't somewhere a child should grow up. The walls aren't exactly thin, so you hear everything that goes on. This is no place for a child...

"What are you thinking about?" Xia whispered.

"About Anna, of course." I snuggled up to her involuntarily.

"I love you, stop worrying so much." She kissed me and fell silent as her breathing became more level.

When I knew she was asleep, I slid out from underneath her and left a quickly written note explaining I'd be back if she woke up, and I was heading out to the store. I threw on a simple tank top and some sweat pants and a hoodie, in addition my comfort shoes I wore sometimes when heels were too fancy. I felt bad for lieing to her, but I needed to escape. I was done with this life and I was ready to move onto the next. I remember reading about a gay couple who ran off after their family kicked them out. Perhaps that's what me and Xia could do, we could run and run and run and never face this horrible city again. That would be so lovely.

I ended up actually going to the store and buying her something, which was chocolate because I didn't have any other gift ideas, and I thought it would cheer her up when her relatives arrived. I guess it was the thought that counts. I also bought a pack of cigarettes from a uncaring clerk. My cravings have been all but ignorable, and I can't help myself anymore. I carefully lit one and took a drag. Xia would kill me for it, but hey, chocolate fixes everything. I checked the time: 5:14 a.m. The city looked so beautiful at night.

Then I remembered what I needed: a simple job that could get me money. I picked up an application in the same place I bought my cigarettes from. They handed me one and I sat in the corner of the store and filled it out as well as I could. Handing it back in, I took my leave and sat on a nearby bench.

**5:43 a.m.**

The rain started in a light drizzle and I headed back home again. I carefully closed the door behind me, but I guess it was enough to wake Xia because she got worried about me. I turned on the dimmed lamp on my desk and set down my plastic bag on the bed.

"Sorry, I was... out..." I told her.

"You scared me! I didn't know where you were! Don't do that to me." She whined.

"I'm really sorry." I muttered.

I grabbed the chocolate and threw the bag on to the floor. I handed the small box to her and she took it and unwrapped it. Her face lit up like a little kid on Christmas Day...

"Thank you so much! I love chocolate!" She exclaimed.

"You're welcome." I said.

We spent the rest of the morning eating chocolate. I told her about the job I applied for, and would most likely get, on the shady part of the city. Immediately, she tensed and began the lecturing of being careful on the street and walking to work, and the unfortunate patriarchy that entitles women to be unjustified in their cases of assult. I told her I would be okay, and we laid down and stared at each other after awhile.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Xia asked.

"No." I stated.

"I was just wondering. I love you." Xia added.

"I love you, too." I told her.

My mind kept wondering about Anna and the job I was going to be working at. I must of dozed off because I awoke in Xia's arms. My walls built themselves back up and I slid away from her and went to get dressed. I put on a black drapey shirt, a rather short, tight skirt with some purple bat tights, and my boots. I looked exactly like a young goth in high school, but Xia was beginning to get her cuteness on me. Xia dressed in her usual Cult Party Kei and we told Elisa we were heading off to Xia's house.

On the way, I could of sworn I saw Anna off to the right of me standing near the Circle K I applied at. Her face lit up and she started towards me, but stopped before she took a step. Her hair was pageboy and bleached, and she was wearing a hoodie and tattered jeans complete with those signature toms. It may have been my mind, but it wouldn't stop bothering me on the way to Xia's house.

**_13 minutes later..._**

Upon opening the door, Xia's facial expression got wiped completely from her face. Her mother's relatives were right before her, and here I was, holding her hand tightly. I let go of it as soon as I could, and took a quick step back. I heard them greet each other in Mandarin, and I got introduced as a good friend. Xia dragged me to her room and shut the door.

"They won't let me leave so easily. I have to stay here for about half an hour, and it's going to drive me crazy being unable to show my affection. I think I'll manage, though." Xia whispered

"It's okay, don't do anything risky." I replied.

"You stay here, they'll just think we'll be hanging out." Xia hugged me and opened the door.

I absolutely hate being in here without her. I hate that we are so persecuted we can't even be seen together in our own houses, nonetheless in public. It isn't fair that we are looked upon as a phase but heterosexual couples are not. I hated every inch of those people that hated us. I can't even be in a contented relationship without being pointed out. No one bothered to give us any help when we needed it. Everyone just gave us glares and continued walking. I couldn't even live as a human anymore...

But my voice can't be heard, anyway.

I realized I was gripping the blanket on her bed so hard I began freezing it. I could hear Xia talking to them, and about five minutes later she arrived with some doughnuts. I guess I can't complain about that. She gave me one with vanilla frosting and colorful sprinkles. After finish them, we lay together on her bed and I almost fell asleep because it was so relaxing. I guess it was worth letting my walls collapse sometimes.

Xia rushed into her room angry.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

"They figured us out easily..." she huffed. "Guess I'm kicked out of my house."

We left before a fight could break out and walked amongst the buildings and stores. I kept seeing that girl from before out of the corner of my eye. I finally deicided I had enough when I saw her spying on us at the park.

"Do you see her?" I asked, turning and pointing.

"Yeah, I noticed that..." Xia replied.

Gathering my strength and storming over to her, I grabbed her by the arm and didn't allow her to run. She looked at me with green eyes and a panicked face. My grip lightened immediately.

"Anna?" I questioned.

"Elsa, I don't have time to explain, but I just wanted to tell you that you were right." Anna spoke.

"Right? What do you mean?" I questioned.

"I mean, I'm going to have this addiction for life. I'm not going to leave this city, but here—" she pulled a small note from her pocket of her hoodie, "is where I will be staying. Right underneath the bridge. I'm usually only hyped up at night. Also, one more thing..." Anna trailed off.

I paused taking in all the info, "Y-yeah?" I forced the word out.

"Is Shaylee okay?" Anna asked.

"She's in a foster home. The one Fawn is also staying in. The one down the road from the motel." I said.

"Thanks, I gotta go. I'll see you later!" Anna took off running in the opposite direction.

Xia and I didn't do much else but small chat. Upon returning to my slightly messy room, I pulled out my journal and began writing. It's been ages since I've written in it, anyway. Xia flipped through channels and tossed and turned on my bed.

**_Some date I can't remember, 2015_**

**_Hello my dear friend, a lot has happened. First and foremost, Anna had a baby back in January or something. I'm pretty sure it's late into the year but I can't tell anymore. She fell into drugs and is now living in the streets. As for me, I got a girlfriend. Yay, I guess. I'm not that excited. But she makes me feel loved. Shaylee's (Anna's baby) birthday is November 16th, and it's already been almost a full year. I can't believe my life has changed so much since that last day of school. Anyway, I've been dating Xia for about a month. Looks like she's getting impatient for cuddling, and I'm not in the mood for being touched. I'll just have to get over it, I suppose._**

**_Love,_**

**_Elsa_**

Later that night, I heard shuffling outside of my door. Xia woke me up out of fright, and I got up— barely dressed with a baggy Secondhand Serenade shirt and some very short shorts, mind you— and stormed outside, arms raised and ready to hurt someone. All I saw was a disappointment, AKA Anna, buzzed out of her mind surrounded by a few shady guys. She walks up to me and I can't help but pull back. As much as I wanted to slap her, I couldn't even bring myself to protest as she put the crystal pipe to her lips and take a toke of whatever it was.

She receded back into her room and pretending as if nothing had happened. I lay back down and drown out any laughter and noise from the other room. Well, we were all back together now.

At least, I hoped so...

In the morning, I heard several knocks at the door. When I opened it, Elisa rushed into the room and threw my things into a travel bag. I tried to stop her as much as I could by holding her back, but it was rather fruitless. Xia stood up and stood in the corner of the room in panic.

"We are leaving now! I got Fawn and Shaylee now let's go!" Elisa cried and took the bags of my stuff into the hallway.

I stood out to see what was happening, and I saw a broken window and a distressed Anna. Anna left before I could ask a question, and Xia joined me in the hallway. I couldn't process the actions taking place. Elisa grabbed us both by the hand and led us towards the car and shoved us inside.

"I didn't say to kill him!" Anna screamed at Elisa.

"You don't need to judge me!" Elisa yelled back.

"Wait, you killed someone?" I shouted.

"He was threatening Anna!" Elusa started the car and drove off into the night.

"You are over reacting!" Anna defended herself.

"You get into drugs, you run away, you get into the wrong crowd, and YOU expect me to not be mad? I don't think so, little girl..." Elisa argued.

"I can't help but get stressed!" Anna yelled.

Xia was in another world, looking outside at the passing buildings. I sigh and put my hand on hers. I guess we could try to make a new life this way— but I highly doubt we ever could considering the problems. I grow tired listening to the sound of arguing and we eventually make it to the outskirts. The sunrise was almost here, and Xia had fallen back asleep. Anna and Elisa continued their despute.

"You packed my journal, right?" I asked.

"Yes!" Elisa yelled back.

I must of dozed off again because when I awoke, we were in another city. I didn't know which one this was, but it didn't really matter. We wouldn't stay here long anyway. Elisa was wanted and Anna was complaining, I couldn't stand either of those things.

So much for a better life.


End file.
